the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
