we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
