If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize