we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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