dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
