Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
