Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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