he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
