Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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