Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
