went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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