you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
