i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
