okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
