So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
