i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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