Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
