jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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