What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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