I hate your face
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Randomize
