if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
