How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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