Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
