I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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