she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize