I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
When are your genitals available?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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