drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
