doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
