at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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