We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
