so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize