Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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