So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
