I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
