Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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