and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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