YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if only i could text you this smell
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize