? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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