I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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