Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
