so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
they're like a gay fantastic four
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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