god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
420 ftw
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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