yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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