so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
