Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think people are normalizing furries
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
