Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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