You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
