Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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