Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
