VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You're earring is so big in my mouth
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
