A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
