i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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