Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
