i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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