Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
