Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
