i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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