I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
